10 Important Lessons for Dad's to Teach Their Daughters

Having a daughter, love has taken on a new meaning in my life.  I look at my daughter and want her feel loved, to grow to be happy, healthy and treated right by the future man in her life if that is in her future.  I may not be a man but being a woman, a daughter, the mother of a daughter and a therapist I think I have a little insight into little girls and some of their needs.

I am fortunate enough to have grown up with a father who loved me.  I would think that most fathers say they love their daughters but how does this love translate in a little girl's life.  How do they know their daddy loves them?

Starting from a small age, daughters look up to their daddies and want nothing but love from them.  When little, many daughters will even say they want to grow up to marry their daddy because he is "the man". Daddies are the first experience of male love a daughter will ever have.

So how can you show your daughter that you love her?  Because love is more then a word, As DC Talk said in their old song, Love Is A Verb!

1.  Tell her you love her.

This may seem self explanatory but for some this can be very difficult.  Don't just assume that your daughter knows you love her.  She probably does even if you don't tell her but hearing the words confirms that you do love her.

2.  Teach her the true meaning of beauty.

Tell her that she is beautiful inside and out.  Tell her that her looks should never dictate how she feels about herself no matter what others say.  Be honest about the obstacles she will face as a young girl and woman expecting to look at certain way when the time is right.  Tell her that no matter what she looks like, it is her heart that matters and she has value not matter what people think of her.

3.  Spend time with her/Be available.

Take her on daddy daughter dates.  Show her that she is important to you even when your busy.  Make time, schedule your date into your calendar and show her she matters to you.  Even it it's a tea party in her room or a walk down around to block, make time for her.  If she is older or even still young, be available if she needs you.  Let her know you are always there for her.

4.  Listen to her.

Let her tell you all about her favorite things.  Even when you can't understand what she is talking about or can't follow the different story lines she tells you, just listen.  Be present, no phone, no computer; truly listen to her.

5.  Show her affection.

Hug your daughter.  Stroke her hair and let her sit on your lap.  Hold her hand when you are walking down the street and talking about her day.  People now a days can get so paranoid when it comes to touch.  Appropriate touch is okay and healthy. 

6.  Teach her how a man should treat her.

Show your daughter what it looks like for a man to treat her right.  Open doors for her.  Teach her that if she ever has to compromise her beliefs because a man wants her to that he is not worth it.  

7.  Teach her about true love.

Show your daughter what true love looks like.  Display real love with your wife for her to see.  Teach her that true love puts another's needs above their own.  Tell her that when she does not feel loved by a man, she is always loved by you and God.

8.  Teach her what a Man looks like.

Show her what respect for women looks like.  Show her what integrity, honesty, care, gentleness and strength are in a man.  Show her that a man can be loving, caring and strong without being a pushover or a bulldozer.  

9.  Teach her about strength.

Tell her that she is a strong person with all the personality qualities she has.  Teach her not to always look to others for all the answers but to seek them out herself.  Teach her to learn independence and the value of integrity and honesty.  Teach her that treating others with respect and standing up for others is a sign of strength. 

10.  Compliment her.

Tell her her when she does things well.  Encourage her strengths and gifts.  Be her cheerleader when she is working hard toward a goal.  Encourage her when she is working toward her goals.

As a woman I try and teach my daughter these same lessons but it is very different for a daughter to learn these things from their daddy.  

You may think that it's to late or that you have failed in certain areas.  It is never to late to begin to show your daughter the love that you already have for her.  Help her grow to a be the strong, passionate, caring, independent and loving woman that she is meant to be.

Thought for the day:  As a father, how can you be more purposeful in showing your daughter you love her?